Freedom and Independence
A 92-year-old I know has been struggling for the past 7 or 8 years with having to
give up more and more of his freedom in order to maintain his independence.
It’s a catch-22 that can catch up with any one of us any time, gradually or all of a sudden.
Life caught up with him so it was no longer safe to drive, he wasn’t seeing his doctors
or taking his meds, and he wasn’t eating well.
His children convinced him to move into a one bedroom place in an Independent Living facility near one of them. At 85 it was a difficult transition to leave his life behind. He had had to give up a lot of his freedom in order to stay independent. He got to see family a lot, but family “interfered” to get him to take care of himself.
The next step came this year when his son passed. It was clear to his kids he now needed either
to move in with one of them or move to Assisted Living, where folks would check on him often and
his housekeeping and medical needs would be met.
For his children, they were keeping him safe. But for him, both options meant he no longer had the freedom to do as he liked. He chose to stay as independent as he could and went to a studio apartment in assisted living. Now, he’s healthier than he’s been in years and he seems happy. But it’s clear he misses his freedom.
Independence and freedom are interwoven. We want both.
But if we look at it deeply, living in the world we can never have either completely.
Our independence is dependent on many, and our personal freedom is dependent
on our own capacities and actions within our society.
Cherish the independence of the society in which we live,
which accepts a degree of personal freedom inconceivable in most of the world.
Photo by Jeffrey Hamilton